Sarah Palin Bites the Dust

Sarah Palin disagrees with those who say her campaign messages were negative.  She replies that she was just asking questions that were important—questions about Barack Obama's character and judgment.  How could he "pal around" with domestic terrorists, after all?  And for sure, Sarah said, her supporters really wanted to hear that Joe the (not) Plumber thought Obama's economic plans sounded like socialism to him.  And my goodness, this was the wrong time to experiment with socialism!  Terrorist!  Arab!  Muslim!  Socialist!  Marxist!  Kill him!  That's not negative, Sarah said.  That was just asking questions that people wanted answers to.

Sarah Palin denies she acted like a diva, and boy, she sure would like to know who would say such a thing.  She'd also like to know who told the world she didn't have a clue about Africa being a continent and all, and who spilled the beans about her greeting McCain aides wrapped in a bath towel.  She just won't even respond to the allegations of being a Wasilla hillbilly because hey, if you say that sort of thing anonymously, you can't expect her to address it at all.  And don't forget, she was completely exonerated of any wrong-doing whatsoever in Troopergate—the front page of the newspaper even said so, even though the front page of the same newspaper said exactly the opposite just a few weeks earlier.

Sarah Palin blames McCain aides for not noticing that she had this exclusive phone interview with French President Sarkozy all set up.  How could they be so incompetent?  And how was she to know it was a prank call?  He sounded French, and gosh darnit, what friendly world leader wouldn't want to have a little chat with her seeing as how she was almost the Vice President and all?  How was she supposed to know that she should've mentioned it?

There's a lot of chatter now about what happens to the Alaskan un-diva.  Can she be rehabilitated and show up again in 2012?  I don't think so, and here's why:

She is inherently lazy.  She participated in a beauty pageant in the hopes of winning prize money to pay her college tuition instead of getting a job and working her way through school.  She hired someone (for $50,000 a year) to handle the mayor-stuff in her village of 5-6000 people when she was the mayor.  She quit her job at  the Oil and Gas Conservation Commission because it involved travel and work away from home.  Even now, she would rather stay at home instead of travel to do her job as Governor of Alaska—witness the thousands of dollars of per diem she's charged.  The AK Legislature started wearing buttons saying, "Where is Sarah?" 

She thinks all it takes is prayer to be catapulted into office.  This is convenient because it means she doesn't have to prepare or learn more.  After all, she's been anointed as "the one" by the dominionists, and as long as Pastor Muthee and the rest keep praying, all she has to do is show up and file the paperwork on time.  She believes she already knows all she needs to know.  ("I know that I know that I know...") That's why she doesn't blink.

She is irredeemably provincial.  She's lived in Alaska and Idaho, two of the most red states in the union.  She is hopelessly unaware of the world as it exists outside those borders.  She only learns the names of those who can further her career directly, which explains why she didn't pause when the prankster referred to Canada's Prime Minister as Steph Carse.  Alaska is her whole world.

She is an unconscionable liar.  She denied being found in violation of Alaska ethics laws by her own state's Legislative Council.  She kept saying she refused the earmark funds for the "Bridge to Nowhere" which never got built, but she kept the funds.  She keeps denying she spent any money on a lavish wardrobe (including silk boxers and $20-40,000 more in men's wear for Todd) but the receipts keep coming in to RNC central.  She repeatedly implied that her biggest achievement as Governor was working to get a massive gas pipeline to deliver energy to the lower 48, yet the ground-breaking ceremony for this pipeline is 8-10 years away, if it even happens.

And finally, she fails to understand how woefully unprepared she still is for national office.  If she had acknowledged her shortcomings, she would have blinked in the first place... if she accepted that she needed serious schooling, she be talking about educating herself more now... if she admitted mistakes at all she wouldn't be playing the blame game.   Instead, she blames the media for raining on her parade.  She blames the Democrats for outing Joe the Plumber.  She blames the sexist people in the lower 48, saying they are not as advanced as Alaskans.  Sadly, for the GOP faithful who still see her as a viable competitor, they are doomed to be disappointed again.

Sarah, I wish we did not know ya
Like we do now, you bet'cha
I'll guarantee we'll keep an eye on ya
And we'll never ever let'cha
Hit the ballot on the national scene again.